Deadington movie script(10 page preview)

Ext. A small village in Italy. Night.

Four Nazi soldiers stand guard in the court of an old church.

Two of the soldiers are playing cards, using a broken part of the courtyard wall as a table. Another soldier guards the front door of the small church.

A fourth soldier paces in the interior of the court.

The sound of a car engine interrupts the night and draws the attention of the soldiers playing cards. They quickly gather up the cards in mid play.One of them drops the pack of cards behind the wall and out of sight.

A German military vehicle arrives just outside of the church courtyard. It stops but the engine keeps running.

The vehicle carries four more soldiers. RODNEY DEADINGTON is the Frankenstein's monster behind the wheel. DRACULA steps off from the back of the vehicle with a sneer on his face, being careful not to look towards the church. LARRY TOBIAS is the wolf-man with a wide grin as the wind tosses his perfect mane of hair. CLAUDE is the invisible man with face wrapped up in bandages and dark sunglasses/goggles.

All but Deadington get out of the vehicle.

Deadington pulls the brim of his cap down to shade more of his scarred face.

DRACULA
Let me do the talking.

The two soldiers from the courtyard approach the vehicle saying something to the group in German.

Dracula says something back in German and hands a piece of paper to one of the soldiers. Orders that are to be relayed.

The other of the two soldiers tries to get a closer look at Claude.

Claude just stands still and silent...for a minute.

Claude suddenly strikes the curious soldier in the neck with one invisible hand and draws a large knife with the other hand (this one invisible too) that slices across the soldiers belly.

The soldier falls, only able to get half a cough out before hitting the ground.

Dracula winces at Claude's actions and is forced to take his own. He grabs the soldier in front of him by the neck and pulls the soldier close enough to take a large bite out of it.

The soldier manages to fire one shot from his rifle before he dies.

Claude knocks the soldier at his feet out with a swift kick to the head. He then leans down for a talk.

CLAUDE
Thought you would get the formula out of me didn't you? Not today boyo.

Dracula's soldier crumbles to the ground.

Larry looks on all this with amusement.

LARRY
That Nazi wasn't after your formula.

Claude
I saw the way he eyeballed me.

DEADINGTON
You guys remember there are two more soldiers right?

Dracula spins around.

DRACula
Curse you Claude, and your paranoid delusions. Lawrence take the other two out now.

LARRY
Right.

Larry takes off into the courtyard towards the sounds of the other soldiers.

Soon we can hear the noise of Larry ripping apart the other soldiers.

DRACULA
Subtle was never our strength. I don't know why I bother anymore.

DEADINGTON
We can't all be born aristocrats.

DRACULA
You were born a brute.

Deadington steps out of the vehicle.

DEADINGTON
Yet you need me to get the gold out of there. Holy ground and all that jazz.

DRACULA
Even you have your useful attributes.

Deadington ambles into the courtyard.

Dracula gives him a glare.

inside courtyard

Deadington heads for the front doors of the small church, past Larry and his kills.

Larry trots over to Deadington to join him as a dog would next to his master. Larry is in half werewolf mode, not a full wolf yet. Blood splattered all over his uniform.

LARRY
Good thing there were only four guards. You'd think there would be more, as much gold as should be in there.

DEADINGTON
The Nazis got gold stashed up all over the place, at least that's what the bat says.
They get to the front door and hesitate. There just might be more guards in there.

DEADINGTON
If we can trust him.

LARRY
I'm sure it checks out. Give it a hard push.

Deadington gives the doors a shove and they swing open and nearly break off the hinges.

Nothing happens.

In the middle of the dusty old church sits a lone pallet of something under a tarp. Whatever is under the tarp is shaped like a large cube.

Deadington lifts the tarp for a peak and sees a few gold bars.

DEADINGTON
First time for everything.

Deadington takes two cables and straps from tucked inside his back belt under his jacket and attaches them to the pallet. He turns around and places the straps around his shoulders like a backpack.

Larry paces.

DEADINGTON
You ever think about joining up with the Allies?

Larry
I like it better not being on a team.

DEADINGTON
Maybe we could do some good.

Larry
Maybe they'll call us freaks and kill us or worse. Last time I tried to do something good for somebody I got bit by a werewolf. I'd rather think about how to spend all this gold.

Deadington looks around, expecting more guards to pop out from under the pews or the shadows at any minute.

LARRY
You need some help?

Deadington leans and takes a step to pull the pallet behind him.

DEADINGTON
I got it.

Deadington hauls the pallet behind him roughly but it stays together as they pass the front doors of the church. This is definitely a strain for even Deadington.

Dracula and Claude are waiting for them outside the courtyard.

Dracula immediately checks the gold underneath the tarp and smiles.

DRACULA
That will do nicely.

LARRY
I hope this truck can handle the load. How are we going to even get it in there? Rodney here nearly burst a vessel getting it this far.

Deadington shrugs the shoulder straps off and turns his head to work out the crick in his neck.

He pulls a knife out and slices the tarp open. Grabs one of the gold bars.

DEADINGTON
One at at time. No need to be greedy. I figure about 7 bars a piece will make do.

DRACULA
For you maybe. You always think small.

Deadington places his gold bar in the back of the vehicle.

DEADINGTON
Suit yourself. You want it, you haul it.

CLAUDE
I only need enough to live underground for the rest of my life.

Dracula
That can be arranged.

ext. Italian Countryside. Night.

The military vehicle with Deadington, Dracula, Larry and Claude in it bounces across the Italian countryside. Deadington is driving like a monster behind the wheel.

The vehicle leaps a hill and slides past a row of barbed wire, almost losing Larry over the side.

LARRY
You do know where you're going, right Rod?

DEADINGTON
Just keep your head in the car and watch the bat. Leave the driving to me.

DRACULA
I'm hurt you don't trust me with half a ton of gold.

DEADINGTON
I don't trust you with my pocket comb.

CLAUDE
Quiet you two. I hear something.

Nothing but darkness all around them. The clouds release a full moon. Larry howls.

Deadington throws an elbow into Larry's jaw and turns a corner of thick trees.

Claude grabs Larry around the throat to silence him but Larry forces his way out quickly.

LARRY
I'm Sorry. I'm sorry. I'm OK now. (beat) Sometimes I can't help myself.

DEADINGTON
Whatever Claude heard, I'm certain heard that. Let's hope their deaf or a figment.

The vehicle makes another turn and runs right into a squad of American and British soldiers. Lights pop all over the vehicle and its passengers.

CLAUDE
I told you I heard something. I'm not mad you know...

SOLDIER
You there. Everyone. Hands up. (beat) Slowly.

All the soldiers have their guns pointed towards the vehicle.

Deadington and Larry put their hands up, as does Claude.

Dracula grins then turns into a bat in a blink and flies away.

SOLDIER
Did you see that?

DEADINGTON
(Without turning around)
He flew, didn't he.(beat) I hate that bat.

Soldier
(To Claude)
I said hands up.

Claude
They are up.

LARRY
(To Deadington)
What do you think the odds are that they've got silver bullets in those rifles?

DEADINGTON
Do you want to find out?

Deadington grabs the wheel and spins out in donuts. Soldiers fire from seemingly everywhere. Claude fires his own rifle haphazardly.

Ext. A Street in Hollywood. Day.

Close up on Deadington as he spins and spins and spins.

Deadington continues to spin out in circles but pullback and find he's now in a sports car and alone, wearing street clothes. He's in modern times.

He stops the car with a screech of the tires.

He exits the car.

DIRECTOR

Cut!

Deadington looks calm and cool, like Frankenstien's monster channeling Steve McQueen or Dolph Lundgren's stunt double.

DIRECTOR
Wow. That was great. You know we normally add the explosion in post right?

DEADINGTON
I just do what the script says. Did I do something wrong?

DIRECTOR
Wrong? Nah, I love it. Forget it. (waves to extra at edge of set and points to Deadington)Get this guy a water or something. Do you want a water?

Deadington
Sure.

DIRECTOR
All right everyone, take five. Beautiful.

The director rushes away past a group of people putting a fire out with extinguishers.

The extra that the director motioned to earlier brings a water bottle to Deadington. Deadington takes a sip.

DEADINGTON
Thanks.

Deadington sees a few of the other stunt men talking with each other across the way off set and waves to them. As he walks over to them he limps slightly favoring one leg over the other (one leg may be slightly longer than the other).

STUNT GUY 1

That was some tight driving Hot Rod Deadington.

DEADINGTON
Thanks.

STUNT GUY 2
Did you get the Jim Ford picture?

DEADINGTON
Start in a week.

STUNT GUY 2
What'd I tell you. If this guy wasn't a giant and uglier than a stick of rot wood, he'd be stealing half our gigs.

Deadington
I know you didn't just call me ugly.

Deadington notices a wrap around Stunt Guy 2's forearm.

DEADINGTON
Did I do that?

Stunt Guy 2 throws his arm up to show it off.

STUNT GUY 2
Just comes with the territory. You know that.

Stunt Guy 1
(to Deadington)
I heard you lost a hand during filming of Fast Forever.

Deadington puts his hand up for show.

STUNT GUY 1
Must have got better or something.

DEADINGTON
Or something.

Stunt Guy 1 starts to shuffle away and the rest follow. Stunt Guy 2 gives a friendly hit in the arm to Deadington as he leaves.

DEADINGTON
Bye guys.

Deadington feels like he weirded out the other guys again.

Deadington suddenly spots his old pal Larry Tobias pacing around the edge of the shoot like a dog at a fence. Larry looks in his 60s now. Werewolves are not immortal but they age much slower than an average human.

Deadington saunters towards Larry. Larry looks like he might bolt or hurl at any minute.

Deadington
What's going on Larry?

LARRY
So this is where you turn up. Never would have pegged you for a movie man. Think you can get me Gong Li's autograph?

DEADINGTON
You're not here just to ask for an autograph, are you.

LARRY
I got a job for you.

Deadington
What kind of a job?

Larry
I heard you may be available for certain unlawful activities...

Deadington shifts closer to Larry and towers over him easily.

Deadington
Did he put you up to this?

Larry looks around warily.

LARRY
He who?

Deadington grabs Larry by the neck and picks him up.

Deadington
Tell the bat that he can find another chump.

LARRY
I swear. I swear it isn't him. I swear...

Deadington places Larry back on the ground and lets go of his neck.

LARRY
I haven't seen him for a couple of years now. Promise. This is for a friend.

Deadington lets a sigh out.

DEADINGTON
I'm listening.

Larry
I've got a friend that needs a driver. I told him I know the best there is.

Larry pulls a crumpled business card out of his pocket and hands it to Deadington.

LARRY
Just go to this address and ask for Drake. You'll need to go tonight.

DEADINGTON
You tell him my fee?

Larry
Like the old days. Money talks or Rod walks. I told him.

Deadington pockets the card and leaves.

LARRY
So? What do I tell him?

DEADINGTON
Tell him I'll be on a plane as soon as shooting wraps today. I better not smell the bat anywhere near this or your in the dog house.

Ext. Fellowman's Cemetery. Kansas City. Night.

Deadington is standing in front of the tall gates to the cemetery comparing the name on the business card he's holding to the name on the gates. There's a padlock on the gate. He holds it in his hand.

A light suddenly shines out from the other side of the gates. Deadington squints and places a hand up to shield his eyes.